Phish is, by far, the worst band ever in the history of shitty music. They are terrible. Phish is essentially four stoners playing four different songs at the same time while singing about coffee tables and tires on your car and antelopes and shit. I never have or ever will understand the appeal of listening to what is equivelant of having carnivorous insects burrowing through your ears into your brain. Why do people listen to this shit? Here's a few reasons I came up with:- You just moved away to college. Your new college roommate reaks of patchouli and failure, but they smoke pot. Yay pot. When living with your parents, you probably never did anything wrong for fear of getting caught since you are most likely a total vag. You think your new rommate is the coolest because he/she has dreads (despite being white and from a rich suburb), wears tie dye shirts (why do people still wear tie dye? What the fuck is wrong with you retards?), and smokes "dank nugs" (as in shit-brown weed full of seeds, rat poison, and dandruff). So you start hanging out with the new roommate more and more since he/she is opening your eyes to a brand new world of licking toads and reeking of bong water, all the while listening to nothing but your roommate's favorite band: Phish. You have never heard of anything like it before. It sort of resembles music, but it doesn't have any actual tunes so to speak of. But they have bitchin' guitar solos and extended bass solos! Totally killer to zone out and just trip to man! Now you can't get enough of Phish since you are an easily suggestible twat that will basically do anything you're told. You will eventually drop out of college to go on tour with Phish, not realizing that they broke up and don't tour anymore (for all I know they still do, but I don't care to find out).
- Phish has two billion bootlegs out there. For every studio album Phish has recorded, they have 247 concert bootlegs. That's an actual statistic I invented, look it up. All Phish fans have a form of OCD that compels them to trade and/or purchase every single bootleg that has ever been recorded. Normal people can't understand this kind of neurosis, but as any Phish fan will tell you, the gremlins will not stop torturing them until they have every bootleg. So off the little Phish fans go, burning CD's for other Phish fans to get new concerts intotheir music library of crap, blissfully unaware of anything else going on around them. "Who has time to bathe? I must get the 5/4/92 concert they did in the Everglades! Only then may I briefly rest!" I firmly believe that no one can really tell the difference between two bootlegs. Sure, maybe they play some songs at one concert they didn't play at another, but since every Phish song is a swirling torrent of unlistenable crap and random noises, you can't really tell the difference of one Phish song from another anyway. But dude! They have, like, a 30 minute long BONGO BREAKDOWN in this concert!
- Drugs. Phish fans always say that the best part of going to a Phish show is that you can get any drug you want. Everyone's all fucked up! It's great! Guess what, psuedo-hippies - you can get drugs at pretty much any other concert anywhere and said concert will almost definitely have more listenable music. You can even get coke and pot at shitty straight edge hardcore shows. And if you're only after drugs in the first place, why go to a concert at all? Hang out at a crack house. I can gaurantee that will be way more entertaining. Plus, you might be able to sell any illegitimate kids you have lying around to roving hungry crackheads.
- Birth Defects. It's no secret that Phish fans have something wrong with their brains, or at least their ears, but I'm going to take that a step further. Phish fans are just plain broken. This could be caused by any number of pre-natal reasons, but being a Phish fan is more often than not something that started either in the womb or during the birthing process. If you are a Phish fan, ask your parents what they did to you. Maybe your mother was going through post-pardem depression before you were even born, causing her to drink constantly throughout the pregnancy. Maybe she lived under power lines. Maybe your parents are hippy douchebags whose only "job" is trading poorly-made beads and knicknacks on a street corner for food stamps, tie dye and heroin. Maybe when you were popping out, the doctor squeezed your head a little too hard with the forceps causing permanent damage. Maybe your mother was an international Falling-Down-the-Stairs champion and didn't want her pregnancy to ruin her career so she kept at it. Who knows? The point is, that there's a good chance it's not even your fault that your favorite band plays THE WORST MUSIC EVER IN HISTORY.
I really, really hate Phish.
103 comments:
FISHMAN '08!
What do you listen to retard? Do you play an instrument retard? How are you a judge ....retard?
Waaaaaahh, someone's making fun of my favorite band! I know! Maybe if I type "retard" over and over, Phish will magically not suck anymore!
For the record, I play guitar and drums, I listen to music that's, you know, good, and after sending in 50 box tops to General Mills I received my framed Musical Judgement certificate (now valid in 47 states!) which authorizes me to make fun of your favorite band.
Well stated, love the section about the f*cking bootlegs. Every time I try to explain why I hate Phish I get enfuriated with the fact that I have to explain it... it should be obvious to everyone that if you have to be sedated to enjoy it, it's not music.
1) WRONG! Phish has about 81 bootlegs for every studio album.
2) WRONG! There was no show on 5/4/92
So... you know nothing!
GO PHISH GO PHISH GO PHISH GO PHISH GO PHISH GO PHISH GO PHISH GO PHISH GO PHISH GO PHISH GO PHISH GO PHISH GO PHISH GO PHISH GO PHISH GO PHISH GO PHISH GO PHISH GO PHISH GO PHISH
Funny. And "Go Phish go?" Does Phish have Inspector Gadget powers? If so, maybe they can get an upgrade that helps them not suck.
I couldn't agree more with everything said in this blog.
I honestly hate the way this article is written, it sounds bitchy and he doesn't really cut to the core of what's so annoying about Phish. THAT said, there is one amazingly true thing he said, and that is that Phish souds like four people playing four different songs. I have played alot of music in my life, and I play every instrument that exists in Phish, and I must say this is true. Some call it "jazzy" or whatever, but it literally sounds like the pianist is playing in a different key than the rest of the band most of the time, and the drummer has such random hits at random times that the rythme is unlistenable. I say kudos for that one observation.
Damn it blog some more let me be your agent.
I bet you feel high and mighy puttin down other people's music don't ya sport? Your self esteem must be at its peak right now! For the record there are flaws in all genres of music, anyone can say all mainstream music is the same beat with a different pun, so lets hear some of the music you like. I guarantee you we can point out flaws and annoyances about them, just like our superduper role model Greg!
@Ryan - What you said about inherent flaws in all genres of music is completely true. However, Phish isn't actually music, so I don't know what point you were trying to make.
@peter - ITunes top ten? What the fuck are you talking about? If you're referring to my breakdown of the Top Ten Billboard songs of 2009, had you actually read it, you'd see I was making fun of the list, not sucking on it. Work on your reading comprehension. Phish rocks, man; got any heroin?
Phish sucks, but I've always thought of them as a band that at least had a sense of humor. Too bad you can't say the same thing about their fans, who are too busy sucking on each others' assholes to get a joke.
Phish is pure genius not in there music which is all crap (I can't even name one song I like. I can name a few of the Dead tho) But in there ability to convince low lifes to give them hundreds of dollars a piece to follow them around. This is a case were the idea of "the rebellion against mainstream music" and "the scene" is more important than the music itself. It's not actually the music, but what it represents--freedom for garbage people to behave like garbage.
I've managed to nearly replicate a phish song by tilting a drum set and letting goats run into it, while playing a 1970's recording of humpback whales, to the not-so-rhythmic thuds made of ripe avocados falling to the ground.
phish has more musical talent in their toe fungus than you ever will in your entire fat blogging body
Get off the internet, take a bath, spray some tough-actin' Tinactin on your nasty feet, and go bake a pie.
So many phish fans do not realize that--they--themselves--are probably better musicians than phish, even if they don't know anything about music or how to play an instrument. That's how bad phish is.
Its about $$$, regardless of their ability or lack of talent, when the bucks start flowing, you ride the wave.
Eventually, they all take a bath and get a job and become thier parents.
oh, they broke up, then do re-union shows...
CASH SUCKERS CASH
Greg - while I personally find this offensive, I will set that aside and ask you what about their music do you not like (other than the long jams, because I can understand where people could not like that and be of the opinion that it lacks cohesiveness.)
I'm not sure if you've ever listened to the songs Reba or Divided Sky, but both those songs make use of polyrhythmics and Divided Sky contains a musical palindrome, which means that it is the same (or at least, eerily similar) played backwards as it is forwards. It also contains a section which switches between 7/8 and 6/8 (I think those are the signs). Reba is fugue-like in its composition, and has segments in which the guitar and keys 'chase' each other, in a sense.
Trey (red-head guitarist with a humorously bad voice) was intensely mentored by composer Ernie Stires. Trey wrote the majority of his compositions, such as Reba, while learning under him, and his influence on Trey's music is supposedly apparent in Trey's compositions, which include, but are not limited to, The Curtain (With), Harry Hood, You Enjoy Myself, David Bowie, Fluffhead, and the two mentioned before. Now, I cannot personally speak on the exact influence, as I did not know Ernie, but many of these songs resulted from assignments Ernie gave to Trey. Ernie died in 2008, and in 2004, his violin concerto was premiered at Carnegie Hall. Carnegie Hall don't lie (a la Rasheed Wallace). So, I find it difficult, unless you can dissect each of these compositions and prove why they are a result of poor musicianship, that you can state, as a fact, that Phish either lacks musical cohesiveness or is not talented.
In terms of where people's love for Phish comes from, I can't tell you how many people have been turned onto Phish by an older cousin or older brother. One of my friends at college used to listen to a lot of Phish, and respects the hell outta them. His brother introduced him to the band's music. Both of them are punks at heart, and his brother is in a punk band. Personally, I was at a CD store, and saw the album Farmhouse (which was the only song I knew by them). It was 4 dollars, and some random guy next to me said, "Hey, get this one," and handed my Lawn Boy. I have two friends that are twin brothers and are in a progressive metal band, and both like Phish, one more than the other.
In all honesty, I think you are a phan making this as a joke, in which case it would be hilarious. If you are serious about this though, I suggest you take a step back and look at some of the compositions I mentioned. You don't have to listen to the jams, cause I will openly admit that they can be abrasive to some ears, but for purely educational value I hope you at least give some of those a listen. Also, I would like to mention that Phish accomplished essentially everything they have accomplished with little to no help from the media and/or the music industry. In fact, they did their best to stay away from it, because they wanted to do things their way.
And just because I'm curious, what are the last three shows you have been to?
And why do you have a blog about stuff you hate. Why not have a blog about stuff you like? I looked at your website weights down. Why do you have an interest in all of this negative stuff. You are perpetuating the existence of the things you hate, which is paradoxical and self-harming. I hope you find yourself something to proclaim love for.
Greg - After looking at your last.fm profile, I would regrettably like to inform you that the same Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings that you listened to for 21 songs worth in the last 7 days performed with Phish during their Halloween Show.
Weldon,
Trying to sound smart does not make you smart. Get a paradoxical haircut. Also, over analyzing crappy music by "name dropping" and throwing in words like palindrome --does not make the music sound better. Reba Sucks and so does divided sky (I don't care how complicated you think it is, its garbage.) Furthermore, I could play a Michael Jackson record backwards, like a palindrome--and it would sound better than both songs. Popular musics tends to be popular for a reason because it "usually" follows unwritten RULES OF ARTISTIC COMPOSITION--handed down through time. The only Phish song worth a damn is gin and juice and they did not even write it. So don't go around running your pretentious --think you know it all about music mouth--and seriously think your opinion carries any weight. You too sir...perpetuate garbage...near criminally.
And since it is about the money....what is wrong with mass media anyway...although there is also a lot of mainstream garbage out there...every once in a while...there is a band and a song worthy of everyone's attention. I cant say that for Phish; in fact they will be phorgotten in a generation.
I'm not claiming to have superior music knowledge. In fact, most of what I know about Phish's compositional complexities I have learned from others who study music for a living. Also, I did not write that post as an attack on anyone, and tried to be as diplomatic in it as possible so that people wouldn't attack me and call me a jerk. People enjoy popular music because it does not challenge the mind, and attempts to recreate previous success.
If you would rather have me say something like, "I like Phish, don't hate on a band I like," I would consider that to be stupid, and an opinion. Instead I am raising only facts, and if you choose to reject those facts, that's not my fault.
I'm sorry. You guys are right.
@Weldon - Wow. Just... wow. You really take terrible music seriously. Just because Phish are supposed musical geniuses does not mean they make any music that people can actually stand listening to. Look at Frank Zappa; people call him a genius (usually Phish fans, go figure) but his music is unbearably awful. Phish can have a grand old time wonking around with their wacky experiments all they want, just keep it away from my ears. They've had 15 years to try to get me to like them and they have failed. What don't I like about Phish? Their songs are completely meaningless, boring, trite pap. Their songs are about 12 minutes too long each, overflowing with stupid ideas and too much pointless faux-musical masturbation. Their fans are the worst music fans ever too have lived in any scene.
Obviously this blog was made as a joke, but that doesn't mean I secretly like Phish. And it's way funnier to hate stuff than to like it. Who wants to read about stuff some idiot on the internet like me likes? Boring. Also, going forward, point-by-point rebuttals in a comment section on a post about why Phish sucks are boring. Diplomacy, shmiplomacy. Be more funny.
Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings are okay at best. Just because they played with Phish doesn't mean that they sound like Phish. You make it sound as if any band on the same bill as them is forever tainted by their suck. I don't get what point you were trying to make.
Phish sucks.
Weldon,
1. Pick any four friends, a chick, a guy missing arms, some kid, your dog.
2. Get an instrument for each of you
3. All of you get shit-faced drunk
4. Close your eyes
5. Start plucking, shredding, singing,drumming,at the same time whatever you feel like at the moment.
6. Have your music expert friends analyze you.
WELDON YOU ARE MUSICAL GENIOUS.
This tag team makes a surprisingly convincing argument. What do y'all do for a living? I might need a good lawyer...and two mouths are better than one.
How is my job related to me hating Phish? Can you make a living solely from that? If so, where do I sign up? Or are you just out to smugly prove that I am not professionally qualified to hate Phish? What is your point?
My point is that if you make a living as a lawyer, I might contact you in the future if I need a lawyer, because you make convincing arguments.
Anyone here like King Crimson?
I didn't know this at first, but after 3 weeks in the lab I have proven it: if one hates Phish, one must love Nickleback. Here I was thinking all along that Nickleback was exclusively for boys with fetal alcohol syndrome and one too many gay experiences that they're afraid to talk about and girls with more abortions under their belts than brain cells, but according to my test results, Nickleback is actually tailor-made for people who hate Phish - people like me. Science! I can't believe I didn't notice the inverse connection before, but in retrospect, it's so obvious! I guess I should start listening to Nickleback then just to see what I've been missing out on. Thanks for the head's up, Jackie Paper!
As for the other guy - what? Make more sense or be more funny.
Every single person is full of bull. I don't understand why you all have taken such great lengths to identify your hatred and bash everybody not like you. I love phish and they are musical geniuses, but I have never done drugs. Everything said on this page is the most biased load of shit I have ever read. You can't just denounce this group without giving real reasons. And if your real reasons are because they "suck" then why feel the need to make a blog about it. Honestly if you don't like the band then don't talk about it. The only person on this page being legit is Weldon. He isn't trying to shove biased opinions down everyones throat. He is just stating facts in a non argumentative way. Obviously nobody else can handle it though. I haven't seen a single rebuttle to his statements that was... Well real. Every rebuttle consists of straight insults and nothing else. I am curious to what music you listen to, what you consider music, and more details on why you don't like phish. I know the bull I'm gonna yet back is: I listen to ACTUAL music, I consider everything but phish music, and because they suck. But I hope you are actually smart enough to have real discussions with people.
Greg...if you play guitar, how can you not appreciate the complexity and the originality of what Trey does on many of his songs. Play YEM, Famous Mocking Bird, Time Turns Elastic, etc. He made a point to "break the rules" but the average ear doesn't see that deep. You must try to play it to appreciate that level. On the average ear...it's original. If you don't like it...move on. No one is telling you that you must love Phish. I'm a drummer...I think Jon Fishman's self taught creativity on the kit is extremely tactful and original...someone posted that he "randomly hits things and blah blah." I think he has chops and leads an improvisational band like very few drummers can. Have you listened to Billy Cobham and Mahavishnu Orchestra??? That's very random...someone tell me that billy cobham sucks and prove they know what they're talking about.
Put it this way...here's a list of bands I think suck: Hanna Montana, Back street boys, anything Hip Hop, anything assembled by a producer to sell records. But, I don't waste a second blogging about it...so Greg, why are you wasting your time. Music is art...it appeals to some but not all...I love Phish, you don't, but stop hatin.
It cracks me up when people say "I hate all hip hop." It's like saying "I hate all movies about killer robots." Yeah, there are a lot of shitty ones, but there is a lot of gold, too. Anyway, in my experience people who claim to hate 100% of hip hop usually hate it because they don't like black people. You racist.
I don't create blog posts about hating Hanna Montana or the Backstreet Boys because everybody already hates them and the general response would be, "No shit." It's boring, hackneyed and overdone, like Viagra jokes in stand-up comedy. However, lots of little troglodytes like Phish and defend them to no end (just look through the comments) and that makes me laugh.
You're curious as to what I listen to? Look a little to the right, ass. I have my last.fm account linked on here, essentially telling the whole internet what I listen to.
Phish rocks. Paige and Mike are great musicians, Jon can play ALL kinds of music(including jazz) and Trey has performed with philharmonic orchestras. When i go to a phish show, sure i get fucked up, but it's all about the music, and having fun. Sometimes i don't get fucked up, and i still have an awesome time. I get A's in school,worked at a pizza shop for three years, and my parents are very successful and caring people. so you can keep your bullshit to yourself. Have fun living on your comp, while i rock out at some shows
When you wrote, "...it's all about the music," I almost choked I was laughing so hard. If there is one ultimate line regurgitated by every Phish fan that trumps the rest of their bullshit, it is, "It's all about the music, maaaaaan." This quote narrowly beats out, "Got any heroin?" and "How do you get rid of genital warts again?"
And thanks for your autobiography. No one asked. Is being steadily employed at a pizza shop for three whole years some kind of badge of honor? I worked at a pizza shop for five years. Does that make me your king?
I'm not entirely sure that you've ever actually listened to Phish based on your post. This sounds like the sort of thing I said before I bought a bunch of cassette tapes at a yard sale, one of which was Phish's "Billy Breathes" album. I popped it in preparing to make fun of it, but I couldn't really find anything horribly lacking in their composition.
I appreciate all types of music, and found Phish to be refreshing and pleasant to listen to. These guys are incredibly talented.
I do have a great deal of their SBDs and such, but it's not as though I'm wasting my life on such things. I legitimately enjoy their music and listening to the band.
The drug scene at Phish shows: Yes, you're right. There's a drug scene at every concert I've ever been to, including an Eddie Money gig I was dragged to last night. It's not the main goal of a great number of Phish fans to acquire drugs at concerts. I know a lot of people from Phish shows who don't do drugs at all.
Additionally, I am an extreme fan of the band, but I don't have dreads. I bathe on a daily basis. I wear clothing I've purchased from Aeropostale and various other 'normal' clothing outlets. I'm a completely normal-looking person and behave accordingly.
Your hating Phish is fine, although I really feel as though you've legitimately ever listened to their music. Not everyone appreciates structurally sound compositions and people who are capable of playing instruments anymore. Phish still sells out shows every time they play, and will continue to do so.
I suppose it's your loss if you choose to listen to music that's more commercial and easier to digest. Musical theory is under-appreciated these days.
Harpua>KILLING IN THE NAME>Harpua
It was a religious experience.
Greg... what music do you enjoy listening to? Just curious...
I "accidentally" saw Phish last June. Before that, I hated them. My roommate in college would put them on, I would leave.
So I saw them at Bonnaroo last year because a friend talked me into it. I've been to 5 shows since then and every one was better, to me, than the one before. They are great... to me. I consider them geniuses. That's just my opinion.
And by the way, I don't do drugs. I don't drink. I graduated from college and I contribute to society.
It's very admirable (I suppose) that you resist the evils of drugs and alcohol, and that you supposedly contribute to society (which would depend on what you majored in), but I honestly can't understand how anyone can even tolerate Phish, let alone like them, without copious amounts of drugs and alcohol in their system.
The music I listen to is completely irrelevant to Phish sucking, but as I've said before, my last.fm profile is linked on my blog on the right-hand side for anyone who gives a fuck (not that you should, but whatever you want, champ!).
Just be warned that if you make fun of any of the bands I listen to, you'll be forcing me to forget I have a sense of humor, write angry blog comments, forum posts, emails, or whatever else (whatever it TAKES!) defending said bands and calling everyone who doesn't listen to them an idiot. I will shake with dumbfounded rage! I may even cry a little! And I may also give a greatly abridged, pointless autobiography for no apparent reason.
And for fuck's sake, people - if you're going to leave angry comments on someone's -anyone's- blog, at least try to make them funny or clever or ANYTHING but the same, boring response the 30 people above you already fucking posted. Be a think-for-yourselfer. Or at least pull your head out of your self-absorbed ass long enough to say something accidentally funny.
Is there legal precedent where the military can round up bad bands during periods of martial law?
And I mean not in the Nazi kind of way but in the "please stop littering in my yard" kind of way. Like put them in jail for six months and let them listen to Hanna Montana everyday and night. And give them noogies, and wet willies every now and then.
@ Weldon: Spot on. Sounds like you actually take the time to fully absorb and dissect music, which is rare. I have tremendous respect for that.
@Greg and goldenfleece: Seems to me you keep endlessly reiterating that Phish sucks because "it's not music" and "their fans smell bad" (as if those are actually legitimate arguments) in order to convince yourselves you have a concept of what good music actually is. I don't care if you guys are Internet trolls or just hateful people jealous of others' immense talent and influence, but the bottom line is you have still failed to make a single relevant point about Phish that actually pertains to their musical ability. I pity you, I really do pity you, wallowing in your closed mindedness and circle jerking over how much an amazing and talented band like Phish sucks so much ass so you can boost your pathetic egos. I love Phish, I love countless other bands, I'm not a dirty hippie with dreads, I play several instruments, I understand music theory, and most importantly, I have excellent taste in music that far surpasses yours. And that is not just my opinion; it's an indisputable fact. So with all due respect to your feeble little brains, go fuck yourselves.
Beethoven descended from heaven to bitch-slap Phish. He said they were causing a "grave disturbance to the Force."
I hate Phish too. I even hate getting my email phished. so, everything phish has an associated negative connotation to it. I cannot agree with Greg more, his rant about Phish is so close to exact there should be a mini series developed in Gregs honor called Greg bashes Phish....Greg gets invite to White house for Medal. Screw Phish and the hippie dipshits that smell like Phish.
It's not that Phish sucks, it's that there are so many other artists taking music to a higher level than Phish. People think that Phish is the be all and end all of improvised music, but for the most part it is unstructured crap. I proudly identify as a stoner musician, but Phish is just plain boring. I encourage all the people who so vehemently defend Phish to stop listening to such mediocre crap, and perhaps listen to music that took more effort than getting a blow job at a ten cent hooker convention.
See? Even people who are into jam bands think Phish sucks.
Agreed, Phish blows hairy moose knuckles.
Hilarious post, and mostly true.
I like Phish. I have since my older cousin (who WAS a hippie) gave me Lawn Boy when I was 10 years old. I've also never smoked pot, grown dreadlocks, worn tie-dye, etc. I'm employed as a scientist. I like blues, jazz, and classic rock.
I also wouldn't say I'm a typical Phish fan. Phish fans DO tend to be hippies, and most "hippies" these days are no different from hipsters - hypocritical jerks who act like they belong to some exclusive club.
The music-bashing going on here is confusing, though. To each their own, I guess. It looks to me like the poster and commenters don't actually like jazz or blues, or song structure more complex than ABABCB, and they're just taking it out on Phish. I'm sure it's been said before, but I'll say it again. Phish are great musicians. Their songs have melodies. Their songs have counter-melodies and harmonies. And structure. They have energy. They have hooks. And most of all, they're fun.
Moose,
I like jazz and blues. But there is still a unifying rhythm or baseline. Its part of the rules of composition and the method by which the musicians communicate. Phish completely bastardizes this necessary element disgracefully. And what's more insulting is how people can take pride in this by calling it "experimental" or "testing the boundaries"....when all they really do is take it to a new level of suck and shame.
goldenfleece,
Give some examples of Phish "bastardizing" baselines. I've never heard this one before, and it's got me curious.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ggvnwpwkOJQ&feature=related
I won't play your game of listening to countless Phish songs to prove my point (I was starting to get a headache)...but that was the best they could do for national tv? Sucking really begins at 2:33 for a whole minute. And the excited audience was infiltrated... These are grown ass men for fuck sake. I know 10 year-olds with better unity. They do have a white boy rhythm. Which is duh duh duh duh duh or straight AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Everybody loves letterman
fleece,
Don't start getting upset just because I followed up on your comment.
Sure. That was awful; I completely agree. As far as I can tell, pretty much everything I just saw of them live on YouTube was terrible. Oh well.
When I think of Phish, though, I'm thinking of their studio albums. Maybe that's why my opinion of them is so different from everyone else's. As for the beat... really? It's a pretty standard beat for a rock song. I wouldn't blame them for trying to pick one of their "accessible" songs for national TV. (Although I would blame them for screwing it up.)
The point is, if you look at Phish's studio libary (say, pre-hiatus), the better half of it is pretty damn good. You don't have to look far to find examples of good musicianship.
I like Phish, but I have to admit this post (and your website in general) is pretty funny; especially that comment on the guy that worked at the pizza joint.
You are way off on the band though, very innovative compositions, especially the structured multi-part compositions.
The worst thing about Phish is their fans - I mean who wants to look like a dirtbag as a fashion statement, Phish fans is who. And nearly every Phish fan thinks they are experts on good musicianship, yet all they do is listen to Phish (or bands that Phish covers). When I go to a Phish concert I literally have to restrain myself from violently attacking every second person I see.
Goldenfleece - why don't you just suck Greg's dick and get it over with. And I actually thought the Letterman performance was pretty good (even if it is one of their more standard tunes).
I don't get Phish fans who compare them to Jazz, Phish is not even close to Jazz and their improvisation is not even close to even an average jazz band. But as I said above, they have written some of the more innovative rock compositions in the last 20 years.
phish kids needs deadheads drugs... that came from a phish kid that has followed phish for years n years. there is no subliminal messages in there music. nothing but sounds that make non sense and phish lots suck a huge donkeys dick. Karnneny has a lumpy head? what? what is that? thats "trippy"? no try listening to some real sacred music and thats Grateful dead. What they speak is real the hidden messages of life is in there music. Now thats a trip. not non sense sounds they put together to entertain a bunch of yuppies.. and when phish came out with joy cd trying to make some lyrics that made some sort of sense it was absolutely terrible. lyrically,they suck. run like and antalope? what the fuck does that mean? Phish simply sucks. Phish kids are mostly college kids that dont know good music and are just getting into the scene or simply a retar. i think its funny when i see a bunch of kids wearing there tie dye phish shirts all clean money from there parents or there job... oh oh i got some jokes! what do you call a hippie with a job?.... a phish kid! how many phish kids does it tkae to screw in a light bulb??? they dont screw in light bulbs they screw over the PHAMILY! phish sucks and so do there fans. if phish was all that grate where is there phamily backing em? i dont see any besides a bunch of college clean housey yuppie kids doing it. bands can get down and boogie and jam it aint that hard. phish aint the only one. they have no heart in there music the way dead does. do everyone a favor go to a furthur show eat OUR drugs and then apologize for thinking you were right. Suck it bia!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNHIFM0Y87c
This sums it all up
I feel terrible for you man, I really do.d
You got a purdy mouf.
The writer is jealous because the gay indie band he likes can't sell 10 tickets to a concert, Arcade Fire, MGMT, I can tell he's a wanker. Sorry, people like to groove and Phish delievers
Hey Tony! ( in a derisive italian accent) Budda Bing!
Dont any of you retards have anything better to do than discuss in detail about things you hate. If you hate something that much why have so much knowledge of it? PHISH SUCKS AND SO DOES THIS BLOG. END OF STORY!!!!
hey fellas....lets just accept the fact that phans are totally in tune.............................................................................................with the "inner retard". Much more so than normal people.
This blog exists to serve future generations and the naive that repeated excessive drug usage and listening to shitty music can cause permanent damaging changes to the brain that essentially render your perception, taste, argumentative skills, and value to society--- useless. The mind--a once vibrant orchard reduced to Charlie Browns' Christmas Tree. Most frightening of all is the missing self-awareness, lack of respect and understanding for generations before them, and the fictitious belief they are still part of a bright orchard that died out 30 years ago.
Hey anybody got the 1989 bootleg when they all took a shit together on stage......its from the album..."four douchebags one cup"?
Hey Greg...you ever been to a Phish show?
justin bieber jokes:music::viagra jokes:everything else. Pure comedy gold!
You suck. Try harder next time.
it's 2011 and Phish still sucks, no I've never been to a phish show but I OD'd on heroin once and I can imagine that's just about as enjoyable.
Greg why the fuck are you arguing the same bullshit from 3 years ago get a life.
Just curious do you listen to anything worthwhile like Hendrix, Zeppelin, or Beatles. I ask this because it seems as though if you cant enjoy any of this you live a completely wasted life anyway. However if you do listen to these bands then I would at least have some hint of respect for you in that you have actually had a small dosage of what real music is. If you do say Trey is no comparison for Jimi, Jimmy, or Clapton then I would agree. I would also agree that Mike is no John Paul Jones, McCartney, or Entwistle. I would also agree that Fish is no comparison to Moon or Bonham. I'd say something for Page, but I cant think of any keyboardists to compare him to.
The other thing you have to understand Greg is that although Phish isnt for everyone, you have to understand they have been around for almost twenty years and you should respect the longevity of that, because let's face even some of the greats cant do that.
I am not saying your argument is invalid, what I am saying is that you have to respect the fact that Phish has created a mini Grateful Dead culture with all their Phans compared to Deadheads, and that although you completely despise them because they sound like shit in your words, they have accomplished something you could never do. There is probably a good reason to that, which is maybe they dont suck as much as you would like to convince people they do.
I was drunk when I wrote that so it might not have the greatest flow in the world
I still argue after 3 years because idiots like you continue to cry about it after three years.
I don't know what The Beatles, Jimi Hendrix or Led Zeppelin have to do with Phish. Those people made actual music and wrote actual songs. Comparing Phish to The Beatles is like comparing apples to your sister's cold sores. Sure, I guess some comparisons could be made, but both are so different that I don't even know why you would try.
Its not a matter of comparison its a matter of the fact that Phish's influences are Beatles, Zeppelin, Hendrix, Dead, and Zappa. All I was really asking was if you enjoyed those bands or not.
As far as the 3 years thing go, I havent been crying about it, I only read it for the first time 2 days ago.
"You" meaning "all of you."
I generally don't mind too much if the Dead is on, but I wouldn't go out of my way to listen to them. As for Frank Zappa - ugh. I'm glad not all musicians are geniuses otherwise I'd have to stop listening to music all together.
sonic youth sucks. talk about ZERO structure.
Moose is right, Phish has somehow managed to stop sucking in the 3 years this blog has been on going.
actually, any band with a chick in it sucks.
The why do you like Phish?
Ba-zing!
"the why do you like phish?" Who said I did? And learn to check your posts. That doesn't make sense.
Take it easy on poor Greg. He's clearly had his period for 3 years. I suggest he step away from the computer, slowly remove the 3 years of soiled tampons from his vag, and go see a doctor to get treated for what may be the worst case of toxic shock syndrome ever recorded.
you said it my man, Phish is probably the worst band ever. and yes, I have been to a few shows so I do know what I'm talking about,THE MOST ANNOYING FANS of any band,no one can piss you off like a Phish phan whose liked the band since 2003 and thinks they're fucking brilliant because they listen to jam bands.Why does Phish have no fan base outside of Vermont, western Mass and NY state? anyone know? how come no one gives a shit about Phish in Texas or California or Illinois or anywhere else? give it up guys and gals, stop being fake and join the rest of society.
omg greg i liek totally hate you even though i Google searched "hate phish"
"The only Phish song worth a damn is gin and juice"
lolwut? not even close.. bathtub gin maybe?
i like phish. i don't take them too seriously, but i don't think i'm supposed to. trey kicks, page is nasty on the keys, fishman is an incredible drummer, and mike is a... bass player. i am guilty of only bathing like 3 times a week, i have long nappy hair, and i'm not that good at guitar, but I DO have a job! not a total drain on society at least... heh
Pebbles said: "do everyone a favor go to a furthur show eat OUR drugs and then apologize for thinking you were right."
and immediately get popped by the DEA. makes sense.
honestly, i feel like all the "heady" kids like the grateful dead because they're supposed to or something. it's like someone saying they don't care for the beatles.. inevitable shitstorm. i've really tried. the dead bore the fuck out of me. phish are way more fun and goofy.
ugh i hate phish so much. the music is so boring and awful and I've tried to like it. I now live in a state where everyone seems to be obsessed. I like music in every genre, but I cannot understand why anyone likes Phish, except maybe people who have done way too may drugs and no longer have coherent thought processes.
I can tell this thread is pretty dead. I just think it's funny that Greg never once threw goldenfleece a bone
Greg...you can mail a check for 15 cents to NAMBLA on my behalf.
Whats funny is that the creator of this blog claims he cannot read, and his favorite music is composed of montage songs from 80's movies... Disliking books and liking 80s montage music speaks volumes about his character, his taste, and his competency in reviewing anything of artistic nature.
See for yourself:
http://www.blogger.com/profile/09149179196374120159
Better late than never: I was beginning to wonder if I am the only person that doesn't find Phish to be brilliant. They sound like a bad jam band that somehow gained a cult following...oh wait...
This is the best thing I've ever ever fucking read. My Morning Jacket shits on ever facet of Phish. My Morning Jacket's worst song is miles ahead of any Phish song in any way. But Phish lovers don't know that. They also have tried to convince me that Phish is better than Pink Floyd. Or Neil Young. Phish sucks, and I couldn't have expressed it more eloquently than this guy exactly why they suck so much.
I love phish festivals so much. Everyone takes lots of drugs and it feels like all the phans are just one big phan.
Then there are the lights. The light show is just sooo gooood. It's like they are playing the lights, or the lights are playing then.
Then there are all the cool things to see. Phish plans all these hands on things that are great when us phans take lots of drugs. And the phans bring cool things to look at.
You just will never get it unless you take lots of drugs. Oh, and Phish's music sucks.
Please stop judging me. It makes me sad. Bad words make baby Jesus cry.
Also, for your information, I am a fourth degree black belt in jazz training, jazz dance, and jazz hands. I know all there is to know about musical phrasing. I also have a 12-inch penis and a 186 IQ. I am a touring musician in a band that is so good, if you knew the name of it, your head would explode. My investment portfolio has made me millions. Who am I? Some anonymous asshole on the internet making claims that can't possibly be backed up.
Shut the fuck up, no one cares. I have a musical theory for you - Trey Anastasio shoves new guitar strings up his dickhole before restringing his guitar.
I don't know why some people think that being a proficient technical musician automatically means they can write a song with an actual tune, because 90% of the bands full of technically proficient musicians are boring and/or terrible. I don't know why people like you have such a hard-on for Phish that they fell it's their civic duty to lash out at people on the internet who make fun of them in an embarrassing display of red-faced, spittle-spraying, homophobic, impotent nerd-rage. I don't know why these people don't seem to see the irony in judging someone for being judgmental. I don't know why the word "judgmental" is spelled weird. I don't know why Phish fans assume that if you don't like Phish, you obviously listen to top-20 pop radio because those are clearly the only two choices. I don't know why your father never hugged you. I just don't know.
What a can of worms this thread was...
Go phish*
What a dong
Someone doesn't know how to Jibboo
Thanks Greg for the hilarious, on-point post. Couldn't agree more.
Props to goldenfleece as well.
I could, of course, name about 6000 bands better than phish. Many of the psychedelic elk as well. But what's the point.
Because you have to give the phishs, the insane clown posses, the Dave Matthews bands, the mall core bands, the boy bands et. all this: at least they keep large groups of people I never want to hang out with way far away from me.
Cheers
R.C.
Keep on Phishin on!!!!
This is the kinda guy who's only heard "Heavy Things", and never taken the time to hear Harry Hood, Maze, Run Like An Antelope, or any other Phish songs. Phish has maybe 4 songs I don't like. Chanc are, he heard one of those four, and judged Phish off of this.
Yup, this guy's right. Phish blows.
phish sucks. end of story.
We still have yet to find out what kind of music the phish haters like..is there some fear there of finding out , lil wayne and drake top there lists?
what were trying to achieve by putting down someone's music? obviously they're doing something right because people actually listen to them. phish fans are the best bands. btdubbs you sound like a total narc!
what were you trying to achieve by putting down someone's music? obviously they're doing something right because people actually listen to them. phish fans are the best fans. btdubbs you sound like a total narc!
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